The Talmud states that the commandment “to love Hashem” (Deuteronomy 10:12)
means” to make Hashem beloved “(Yoma86a). The Talmud goes on to say that this is accomplished when one behaves in a manner that will cause others to respect the Torah and to respect G-d. My beloved mother, Bertin Tita z”tl, whom we lost in a Jerusalem bus bombing not only sanctified G-d’s name by her death but also lived making Hashem loved among many.
I can still hear my father chanting Eshet Chayil, the song extolling the virtues of the ideal wife, every Friday night. Every word described my mother. While we were mourning time seemed to stand still and I reflected on the bitter aftermath of my trauma. Anger at those Arab terrorists who destroyed bus Nr. 14 was not going to bring her back to us. After all, anger in the Torah is likened to idol-worship. In the midst of indescribable pain I was left with the image of a beautiful mother –the embodiment of a true Eshet Chayil. The only comfort I could draw was from the lessons she had taught us. First and foremost to always remain strong and keep our faith as in psalm 23 ”even though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil”. It is written in Eshet Chayil “Her husband places his trust in her and only profits thereby. She brings him goodness, not harm, all the days of her life”. My mother brought myriads of blessings upon our family. Her business acumen was invaluable. The line “she gets up while it is still night to provide food for her household” further describes mother most poignantly. Mother had practiced time management and food management long before they became popular. She would plan the family meals and cook delicious food at dawn. “She never tastes the bread of sloth”. By the time working people would start work mother had accomplished a full day’s work. It is written “She makes and sells linens”- mother had exquisite taste for clothing and weaved beautiful tapestries.
“She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out to the needy”- that phrase accurately described her charitable being. Be it money, furniture, food or clothing she seemed to know exactly which kind of charity was needed by who. Mother fed so many in her life and continues to feed many through the charitable fund to feed the poor of Jerusalem, which my father started in her memory. We all miss so much her “opening her mouth with wisdom”. I have never met a wiser person.
Long before the term superwoman was coined Mother was one. Mother was the backbone of the family, our anchor, counselor and therapist. She was capable of so much love! Mother transmitted love through her voice, her hugs and her delicious food. That woman of valor, my beautiful mother had the brains to reach the highest positions in the land. Yet, she chose to nurture her family, to help us excel and grow. ’Her husband is known at the gates, where he sits with the elders of the land’. In the funeral father gave mother all the credit for all his significant Torah learning.
In a twist of fate, on the morning of the day of mother’s death my father donated numerous Gemarah books to a yeshiva. At the funeral the Rosh Yeshiva declared that the section in the Gemarah the students had been learning that day was Zevachim, which means in Hebrew SACRIFICES.
In the Path of the Just, Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzato (Ramchal) states that the ultimate goal of man is to merit being in the immediate presence of G-d in the Eternal World. It is however, our sages argue, possible to achieve an awareness that one is in the immediate presence of G-d in this earthly world. In all her deeds and selfless love of her family and community Bertin Tita , z”tl , lived in the presence of Hashem and died ‘al Kiddush Hashem’-sanctifying His name.
Shoshana Tita is a Judaic lecturer and the director of Torah Life Center. She now resides in Barcelona Spain. Her mother was killed in a terrorist attack on bus Nr. 14 in Jerusalem June 11, 2003 just forty eight hours after her wedding
See Shoshana's article on her mother's life and tragic death, written upon the occasion of her first yahrzeit.
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